Alive and Well

   It would be a little unrealistic to say that things have been difficult for me here so far. I've been having a hard time emotionally, spiritually, and financially, but as I reach the half-way point of this year in New Zealand I only really know one thing; I whole-heartedly want to see this through. 

   Last night I had a little difficulty getting to sleep, but my body didn't seem to think I needed 8 hours anyway and I woke up at about 7 in the morning. For having 4 hours of sleep under my belt this morning, I feel especially motivated to finally get around to updating this poor neglected blog. I realize it's been a little irresponsible to neglect from keeping you all informed of my well-being, especially since many of you actually care about me. I have a bad habit of becoming with-drawn when things get hard. 

Suffice it to say, this is a post letting you all know that I am still alive and well. 

I am alive and well.

More details on that will come in the near future. And until then, peace and grace.

Joshua

Frustrations and Fruitions

   I realize that leaving you guys depressed from my last post was probably a mean thing to do. I am not completely down in the dumps, but I am still struggling with some culture shock. So for today's update I will give you _ reasons why I'm frustrated with kiwi culture, Ministry updates, and school progress.

Reason 1: Bare feet.

   This first reason isn't as much of a frustration as it is a curiosity. People don't always wear shoes. I brush it off half the time as "it's cultural" in my head, but I really don't get why you see people all the time walking around with no shoes on. It really confuses me. This is a developed nation, footwear is relatively inexpensive, you can avoid all sorts of nasty injuries and parasites just by wearing a pair of simple sandals on your feet. But to people here listen to reason? Not all of the time. 

Reason 2: Assumptions.
   This is a big one. People often times assume that you are on the same page as everyone, even though you may have just walked in through the door, know basically no-one, and understand about half of the funny kiwi-speak they are using (the accent). For example; I just got a call from my new boss, letting me know that my new co-workers are not okay with me changing around the way they do things. Fair enough, but the thing is no one told me anything about any particular way of doing anything. So I'm left feeling like a big American oaf who arrogantly thinks his way of doing things is the best. Here I go reinforcing negative stereotypes about my fellow countrymen abroad. Sorry guys!

Reason 3: ♪Getting to know... some people ♪ 

   People here are, on the whole, hard to get to know. They are very friendly and cordial up-front, but there is this wall that you hit with a lot of people. Trying to cross over from "new guy" to "friend" is like trying to jump the grand canyon with a pogo-stick. Well maybe no that bad, but it's still pretty bad. I've been here maybe 4 months, and I have about 2 friends that I really see on at least a weekly basis, and half of them are non-nationals. 

Ok, that's enough of me complaining. Onward to the ministry updates.

When I last left you guys I felt discouraged, disoriented, and disheartened about my mission here. I may have been listening to too much of The Cure, because these past few weeks I have actually been building relationships with international students. The very ministry focus of ISM! Go figure!

This has really encouraged me when I realize that am actually doing one or two things that are on task.


Alright everyone, that's a blog.

P.S.: To any Kiwi's reading this update, not all of those complaints are intended to be 100% serious. I really do love all of you guys.

Peace!

The State of Things

   First of all, I apologize for keeping everyone in the dark for so long. I know all of you have invested in me in some form or an other, and not giving you a progress report is a little negligent on my part.

   Part of the reason why it's been hard to get an update out is because I was struggling on what to say.  I was trying to find a way of saying "things aren't going great" in a way that wouldn't make me look bad. While God has blessed me with more permanent housing, a one year visa that I can work on, and cool classmates and church support here, things have been more or less frustrating for me.

   For about the last month I've been depressed and frustrated. I've been struggling about what my exact purpose is here, and how to do whatever job I am here for. Add to that a little culture shock and some things I am actually seeing a counselor for, and the constant rain, and you have a sad Josh. Part of me was in denial that I am actually having a hard time melding into Kiwi culture. I thought:

"No way man! I've been to other places that are a lot more extreme, for a longer period than I've been here already, and still it took at least six months for me to get a little home sick!" 

   I actually didn't want to let any of you, my supporters, know that I'm seeing a counselor for personal reasons because it would make me look less like a holy cultural missionary than I wanted to look. Which is a stupid idea really, because I didn't budget for a counselor at all. 

   Visa stuff took longer (and more expensive-er) too, which threw my budget off even more, and now I have about 50 dollars in my bank account after paying rent this week. 

   Honestly the worst thing is being so far away from the church community that I grew to love so much more over the past three years. I loved you all so much, I would go to like 3 services a weekend some times just so I could say hello to more of you. 

   So now this is my repentance post for being a block-head and not letting you know how I was really doing. I hope all of you can find it in your hearts to see me as a human being. 

Yours truly,

   Joshua

Situating

   Hello all! This is going to be a formal update on what's going on in NZ. I'm also mentioning a few unexpected expenses that I would like your prayer in.

   Since finally arriving back in Hamilton, things have been somewhat slow. Most of what I need to get done is just waiting for processing, and waiting for potential flatmates to get back to me. But things are on the move. I found out last minute that I need a chest x-ray and a letter from the school I'm going to saying I can speak English. That last bit is a fomallity for all international students. A problem though is that the immigration medical stuff is $210 NZ that I wasn't expecting to spend.
   The housing search is going well. I think I have found a flat for a very reasonable rate, and the people I will be living with seem very laid back. It's a little out of the way, but I think I'll manage. The security is a little on the steep side. It's around $400 NZ plus the first week's rent ($95 NZ).
   If you guys could pray about that with me I would appreciate it.

I haven't really started ministry or school quite yet. All I'm doing is getting situated so far.

That's a blog, everyone. Peace.

Traveling

That was exhausting. I am about to continue on to my last destination in my tour of ISM's ministry and New Zealand as a whole. Hamilton is where my internship will be based. I'll make time in the next few day to do a big update to wrap up my introduction to NZ.

But now I must rest for the final portion of my journey.

Pray for rest..

So tired...

Much More

(Psalm 63 ESV) 

        [1] O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;

my soul thirsts for you;

my flesh faints for you,

as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

[2] So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,

beholding your power and glory.

[3] Because your steadfast love is better than life,

my lips will praise you.

[4] So I will bless you as long as I live;

in your name I will lift up my hands.

[5] My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,

and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,

   David does some strange things with this psalm, this passage in particular. Not strange in the sense that they are unique, but this is strange to the natural line of thought you would usually take. David first makes note of his need for God, then in the next breath exults in God's goodness.
   This makes sense. "We need God, God is good, God is what we need, We worship God. What makes you scratch you're head a little is what comes after this:



[6] when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
[7] for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
[8] My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.
(Psalm 63:6-8 ESV)


   David concludes that God is worthy of worship before God helps him. God's worth isn't even dependent on David's life (see v3)! So his worship couldn't be rooted in what God has done in the rest of the psalm. It only heaps glory on glory.

   By Himself, God is better than life before he gives it. How much more can we rejoice now that he saves?

That's a blog everyone. An update about my goings-on will be short in coming! Hope you enjoyed my senses on The Psalter.

Occultic Observations

   Today is a sick day, and it looks like tomorrow is going to be one too, and as usual when I'm sick I do a lot of reading and internet searching. I came upon videos talking about a guy named Alan John Miller. There are only two things you need to know about this guy:

1. He thinks he's Jesus

2. He's a pretty convincing person

   Alan is the leader of a small cult movement in Australia. His small but devoted group of followers live with him at a compound in the wilderness somewhere, and love him and his teachings. His teachings center around the same old re-hashed emotionally driven new-age crap-ola you would expect, but his laid back nature and unassuming demeanor lower your defenses. Alan rolled a 12 on charisma, and it shows.

   And his followers are very emotionally convinced that he is who he says he is. In an interview when one guy is asked who Alan is to them, he breaks down in tears within a matter of seconds. Eerily enough, these seem to be normal people. They don't look crazy at all, and they don't seem deficient in any way.

   Just prior to this I happened to read an article from the Christian Post on my man John Piper. All this made me marvel at the grace of God for keeping me in his good graces.

   Not the thing you might expect to hear from me while I'm currently in the field doing missions stuff, but it's true. The only reason I'm still a Christian is because God is "..able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy." (Jude 1:24 ESV)

   The logical conclusion for me is that since I am so reliant on God for just keeping me in the ring, how much more dependent am I for the strength to fight?

God help me [literally]!